"We'll Always Have Paris...Unfortunately"

Unless you’ve purposely buried yourself away from the world for a the past few weeks (and I could certainly see why you would), you’ve been bombarded with the media’s covered of Miss Paris Hilton’s stint in jail. It’s rather interesting—that is, if you cast aside the fact that she has done nothing worthy of the attention and money that has been heaped upon her.

Paris is an heiress. If she wanted to, she could relax on the beach, do some shopping, and hang out with friends all night, every night. She wouldn’t have to draw attention to herself at all. She could just be Paris and spend her parents’ money.

Unfortunately for us, this is not the case. She’s constantly putting herself in the limelight. She’s recording herself with her boyfriend (I’ll elaborate no further), showing up at Hollywood award ceremonies that she has no business attending in the first place, and generally making herself a public figure for all the wrong reasons.

But Miss Hilton was apparently not above the law (feel free to gasp in shock and awe…hey, that all rhymed). She is currently spending time in jail, a result of driving under the influence multiple times, even while her license was suspended. Evidently the state of California’s legal system isn’t as impressed with you as 14-year-old boys are, Miss Hilton.

Today, Paris’ interview with Barbara Walters was released. Among other things, Paris is claiming she has become more spiritual and has turned her life around. I sincerely hope this is the case, but forgive my skepticism.

When asked about what happened during her first few days in jail, Paris responded with this: “"I was not eating or sleeping. I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage…it was a horrible experience."

A few observations…

1. Paris, you never eat. The proof is in the rack of ribs that you incessantly display to the paparazzi.
2. You’re in jail. It’s not happy/happy time. We’re not shocked and horrified that you’re depressed..
3. Let’s see, you were in a room. The room has bars on one side, and the other three walls are solid. The door is locked and you’re not allowed out. Yep, sounds like a cage!
4. Again, jail is not supposed to be an uplifting experience. It is meant to drill some sense into your empty little dyed head.

I’d like to say that today is the last day that I click on a “Paris in Jail” story, but I think we all know that everyone will be keeping up. We’ll read the stories, smile deviously, and share our joy with others.

What is this fiendish infatuation we have with public enemies who wind up getting what’s coming to them? Is it right to feel this way? Are we justified in our contempt? Personally, I’ve felt a little bit guilty for being so pleased with the outcome thus far. Maybe we all should make a one-eighty-degree turn and feel sorry for Paris, instead of kicking her while she’s down!

…

…NAH! *kick*